Once I’d finished my first feature film, I never wanted to make one again. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong, and we only just managed to make the film in the end. But I was determined not to give up. And I learnt from the experience.
There’s always a fear; maybe I can’t do this. maybe no one will want to see this, maybe we won’t get to do this. Obviously the fear at present is the fear we may not make our crowdfunding goal and therefore not be able to make our next feature film (we will – crowdfunding anxiety is natural).
Recent interviews with people who consistently show their talent and ability – including Philip Seymour Hoffman and Ryan Gosling – show that even those working at a higher level, still suffer from fear before a project, question they can do it, and even actively seek ways to find a way out of doing the project. Some of the best directors of all time have also stated they had nightmares where they didn’t know where to put the camera, that everything would fall into ruin, and they’d never be able to make a film ever again.
Fear is something you need to use. It’s a natural response to stop yourself from getting hurt, but you have to fight it, to achieve what you want to. If I’d given up whilst we were shooting our first feature film ‘Ennui’, as everything fell apart around us, the film wouldn’t have been made. If I’d given up each time a film wasn’t accepted to a large film festival, I wouldn’t have made a better film the next time round. I wouldn’t have made one a year. I wouldn’t still be making them. But it’s what I love to do. What else would I do?
You need to stay determined in order to achieve what you want. You need to use your fears to try even harder, to become better, and to give it your all every single time you try to achieve something.
